ummmm so my therapist said something ive never heard anyone do or say before so imma share
she said to practice not labeling things as good or bad, there's a word for it but i don't rememember the english one
and she gave me an example, like instead of saying "i am ugly" (i feel ugly these days sadly, so)
i could just say "i wish i looked different"
this doesn't take away my feelings from the sentence but it doesn't sound like a death sentence anymore, also it now sounds like a ME problem (because I don't know what others people think of me, they might not think I'm ugly, I only think that, and I only think that because at this point of time i wish i look different).
also it's solution oriented because i can try looking different with makeup or whatever the heck there is
some people would try and say that it's not progressive and i should just jump straight to accepting and loving how i look but heres the thing
1) a licensed therapist said that and they also are very educated in their field so
2) feelings don't just go away easy like that and it's okay
on the "its not progressive enough" bit, its hard to jump straight from self loathing to self love. Having neutral feelings about yourself is a lot easier of a stepping stone. Not being openly hostile towards yourself is a very reasonable goal especially if you've been less than kind to yourself for so long.