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Controversial opinion...

Saw this discussion on tumblr, gonna rephrase

Safe spaces where we'all can vent, relate to each other and joke about cishets without cishets being present are valid and important

And i think a huge chunk of tumblr was treated like this kind of a safe space, but now the line between safe space on the internet and the entire internet in general, which is full of cishets, is blurred, however, the attitude remains

Cishets people bump into "my content isn't for you, go away oppressor" as they try to interact with lgbt+ folks, and the educational blogs they are supposed to interact with to learn how to be a good ally often have similar negative attitude ( "you'll never make up for the oppression we've experienced so shut up, don't ask stupid questions" ). What happens then? Cishets decide that it's way too much of an effort to get educated about other people. They decide that lgbt+ folks don't need them and don't want them around. So they go back into their cishet circle. While still being the majority of the voters. And when asked "are you aware about the problems lgbtq+ people face?" they'll say "what problems? none of my friends face that problems" and find it hard to empathise with lgbtq+ folks because they haven't interacted with them at all. And then vote for something else instead of lgbtq+ rights.

This is just a thing that happens. I am not saying this is anyone's fault. I am not saying lgbtq+ folks have to get out of their way to interact with cishets - it's not just uncomfortable, i can be dangerous. You don't have to. But maybe we should separate vent spaces and discussion spaces so that everyone would feel safe. I really don't know. Also not everyone has to educate/make an education blog. If you don't wanna do it, if it wears you out, if you are not ready for how endlessly stupif people can be, maybe starting an educational blog is a bad idea. I really don't know anymore.



Notes
angelcosmos liked this post
beefox commented:

just like cishets cant expect lgbt person be teacher at any time, lgbt people cant expect cishets learn without give direction


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babushka reblogged this post from babushka:

@spacepandy okay i think ive figured out what i wanna say


spacepandy commented:

oh! I want to specify I totally didn't meant to make it seem like I meant *you* were saying or doing those things, it's just a feeling that many people have and it's so tiring :(( so I wanted to just explain how it comes across to me and what I feel regarding this kind of stuff ya know? I'm not disappointed in you at all. Maybe a little annoyed, I won't sugarcoat things or lie to you, but definitely not disappointed! because I see your posts, and you try very hard. And yeah it's just a viscious cycle of a mixture of people overreacting, cishet people overstepping, and in general people just not putting in the effort [on both sides]. Thank you for replying btw!


babushka reblogged this post from babushka:

@spacepandy also yeah this 'as bad as them' thing is bad.


babushka reblogged this post from babushka:

@spacepandy idk if you want me to copy your commentary here or not but i don't want it to look like i'm only reblogging those who agree with me somewhat. i need to clarify that i feel like this is happening outside tumblr too, and to reach for educational resources outside of there you need to understand that you're doing something wrong (and that you can fix it somewhat instead ot just. dying you know). maybe im overreacting because of bpd and stuff (still my problem). i don't think ive said anyone is obligated to educate/be nice/interact at all, and maybe if the safe spaces were actually safe, this all wouldn't happen. cishets wouldn't jump react to every "haha we're better off without cishets as a whole" joke and lgbtq+ people wouldn't have to tire themselves out to explain them why they should stay in their lane for once


spacepandy commented:

Honestly though like.. my take as a bi trans dude.. if you're not an education based blog, and aren't outright insulting people and calling them stupid, you have every right to say "this isn't for you" or to not give explanations. There's no reason to be outright rude, and definitely people shouldn't be insulting and cruel, but like?? There's plenty of other places you can research stuff than tumblr, and there's typically blogs and twitter threads and other stuff that are geared towards educating people and helping allies be better allies. It's not our responsibility. I know people will probably be like "wahh but you're just as bad as them because you're not willing to explain things!!" no I'm just tired of people literally thinking I should die for existing, and I'm not going to put anymore energy into making people more tolerant than I absolutely have to because I'm already exhausted at being alive and dealing with bigoted transphobic and biphobic assholes on the regular. The people being insulting kind of suck, but like I get it. We're exhausted and scared and have to deal with cruel people all the damn time. I feel no empathy for people who decide "oh a trans person yelled at me so I'm never going to research this topic again" cause it's in the same vein of those people who are like "I'm going to keep being racist because a person of color yelled at me." It just makes us feel like it's our fault people are horribly bigoted and transphobic, and makes those of us who aren't out there insulting people want to explain things and reach out to people looking for help even less, because often times one rude person turns their entire outlook into "LGBT+ people were mean to me one time so being bigoted is okay actually" and that's on them, not us for being upset and tired.


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babushka reblogged this post from cosmicaces:

that's really cool of you!


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cosmicaces reblogged this post from babushka:

i absolutely agree with this.


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flowerfemme commented:

personally i think that it's not everyone's responsibility to educate/be friends with cishet folks but the people who are comfortable with it should do it and i salute them for it. although i say this and i've made like. 3 cishet friends lately, which is wild. haven't done that in YEARS. turns out when they're not raging bigots and are willing to just listen and vibe, they're chill.


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