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there's just so much stuff i wanna write
because realising your self hate and deciding to let go of it just feels (from my experience) like recognising/letting go of abusive relationships its just the abuser is also you/your brain but it was shifting the blame the entire goddamn time, and there's so much thing that its done awfully wrong without you realising it, and also a lot of things it punished you for weren't bad in the first place (aka fkin DREAMING) but you were so brainwashed you were convinced others are going to judge you on this too. There's so much to unpack but i wanna unpack this since a) guess thats my diary now and b) im not the only victim of an abuser that a mentall illness is and spreading awareness hopefully???? might help???